Author: azzahabu

It has been 9 months today since my son has come and gone.

9 months is what I held my son for.
9 months i kept him safe inside me
9 months i protected him from this world
9 months he grew into a real person
9 months my dreams grew with him
9 months my hopes inched towards reality
9 months i felt him tickle, twitch and trampoline inside of me.
9 months i showered him with maternal love
The Ninth Month – it never quite got there.

It has been 9 months today since my son has come and gone.

9 months of pain
9 months of sorrow
9 months of hurt inside
9 months of tears and cries
9 months of hellos never said and goodbyes never forgotten
9 months of longing for something that cannot be and holding onto something that was not meant to be
9 months of picking up the pieces of a shattered dream
9 months of tightly grasping onto unwound threads of hope
The Ninth Month – we are almost there, a full circle.

Its been 9 months today.

9 months is what I held my son for – in my heart and soul.
9 months i kept him safe inside me – his memories have been safely tucked away.
9 months i protected him from this world – instead I know he is untarnished, pure and whole in the next.
9 months he grew into a real person – not just a memory, but his name on our lips each day
9 months my dreams grew with him – dreams of me being a better person, with a better future and better tomorow
9 months my hopes inched towards reality – hopes and faith in Allah’s (God’s) plan, a plan only He knows – but we believe in.
9 months i felt him tickle, twitch and trampoline inside of me – i feel as such each time i think of him or hear his beloved name.
9 months i showered him with maternal love – in every waking breath and every sleeping dream, that type of love will never be erased
The Ninth Month – a parallel indeed – i discovered my son, and now i discover myself.

#9months #InLovingMemoryOfZakariah
#NeverSayGoodbye
#Hope #Faith

What is love? How can it be explained?  Love is a feeling of inspiration. It can be overwhelming and underwhelming all at the same time. It can be incremental and it can be a surge of energy.
Love is like an universal power adapter, different plug heads for different situations. Love of Allah, love of your child, love of your spouse, love of parents, love of family. The list goes on.

What is it though? A chemical reaction? Or is it more than that? To me it is an intangible emotion that makes you who you are.

But are there boundaries to love? Should there be boundaries? The answer is yes – for there should be only one boundless form of love and that  is for the Creator, our Lord – Allah. We should love Him unconditionally, wholely and respectfully. When that bond has been formed and nurtured correctly with Him, then all other forms of love falls into place and the balance between extremes of love becomes centred.

Do not love the creation MORE THAN the Creator, because that is when things will go wrong. Keep yourself steady by leaning on Allah so that should things go wrong or disappointment occurs, your heart is protected in the promise of Allah’s love. Believing in and accepting His Qadr (pre-destination) is in itself a form of blind but pure love. The only time I myself will be blindly in love.

Do you all remember that lyric from that song? “love is in the air…everywhere i look around….”. This one lyric is actually true. Everything we see, whether it is the birds flying in the sky, the trees swaying in the wind, the teacher using their intellect to educate a child, a mother feeding her child, the sun shining brightly, people walking with their own two feet down the street, these are all blessings from Allah. And most importantly it is Allah’s love for us humans – His creation. Surely we must return this love.

“Verily, those who believe [in the One of Allah and in His Messenger (Muhammad SAW)] and work deeds of righteousness, the Most Gracious (Allah) will bestow love for them (in the hearts of the believers)” (Surah Maryam: 96).

The name of my blogsite is The Reflections Corner. It is only fitting then that I end the year and welcome the new one by doing just that – Reflecting.

The year started of for me with a bang, full of joy, expectations and hope. Like an eager child, I looked forward to the happy moments that were to come. Yet Allah (God) had other plans. He changed the course of my life that it was take and instead gave it a new meaning.

2015 – a year of peaks of joy and troughs of pain. However I have (i hope) learnt many lessons on humilty, patience, faith, sacrifice and compromise. Allah was supposed to have gifted me my baby boy in 2015 – instead He has gifted me something as precious – the opportunity to come closer to Allah. And for that, I am grateful.

Today is the first day of a new year – 2016. Like the previous year, I start this year with optimism, joy (albiet bittersweet), hope, and expectation. What this year will bring me, only Allah knows. But whatever it is, in whichever shape or form, I am confident it will be for my good. I set no New Year Resolutions except one – to be content and accept whatever Allah puts in my way.

Let us start the year with Bismillah and pray for the best.

#newyear #2016 #reflections #reflectionscorner #hope #faith #expectations

  
I want to mark today, somehow in some way. So I write. I write to share the journey I have been on and the journey I wish to continue. Today is exactly 6 months since I gave birth to my sweet darling Zakariah. And 6 months since I lost him too. It’s been 6 months – 182.5 days, 26 weeks and Half a Year. A whole chunk of my life has gone, somewhat in a daze and somewhat in a whirlwind of chaotic emotions. Anger, sadness, disappointment, gratitude, humbleness, and yes – even joy. 

The world has changed in the past 6 months. Babies have been born, bringing  joy and happiness to their parents, students have graduated from university, the unemployed have become employed,  vaccines have been discovered, wars have been waged, refugees have been in a flux of crisis, violence and terrorism has sporadically swept the globe. This is the world – some Good has happened and so has some Bad. This is how the world is changing. But my world, it’s a small one. The centre of it was, is and always will be Zakariah. Perhaps my focus may shift from time to time, with the daily grind of life. But this focus is not a negative one, it is one that gives me something to look forward to. I keep in my mind and heart a little boy that was not meant to be, and each day I live is a day to make him proud. Every small success in this life is a step closer to the ultimate success in the Hereafter – a step closer to seeing the proud smile of my son. In this 6 months, in all the chaos, pain and loss that was my life,  one beautiful and amazing success has taken shape. With good intentions, love, hope, faith and tender care we set up the Zakariah Maternity Centre in Neelam valley (Kashmir). This was a dream 6 months ago and now (Alhamdulilah) it is a REALITY.  This centre, named after my beloved son has been set up to give hope, faith and inspiration to the people of Neelam Valley. And every baby that is born there will be a reminder of a little baby who made all of this happen. 

I will continue to mark each milestones, each “anniversary” as it comes – not because I am sad or upset. I do so as a reminder of what I had, have and will have.

6 months today –  the moment you came into this world and left it, is a moment that is forever engraved in my heart and soul.  I will start tomorrow my dear son, the beginning of the next six months, with a renewed hope and faith. Because THAT is what your short life has taught me. 
To mark this day, I share with you the latest documentary of Zakariah Maternity Centre. My heartfelt gratitude and thanks to ALL of you who helped make this dream happen.

http://youtu.be/VaUlHZHgbRk
#InLovingMemoryofZakariah #6monthstoday #ZakariahMaternityCentre #Hope #Faith

Exactly one year today my life changed. Two blue lines told me that I was to become a Mummy. That moment in which I found out was the moment I knew my life was to change – for the better.

This past year has been full of glorious ups and catastrophic downs. I’ve had a child and lost a child all in the same year. I’ve welcomed a child and mourned a child all in the same moment. I’ve weaved a lifetime worth of dreams and hopes and buried those very same dreams and desires all in this past year. But my life – it has changed for the better. My son entered my life with those two beautiful blue lines and left my life with two beautiful eyes, that I never got to see looking at me (which I imagine to be perfect). With him he brought hope, love, affection,  strength, and patience. And even though he has left me – he changed my life for the better – by making me a better person. Through him, I have come to realise the person I am, and recognise my strengths and weaknesses. Through him I have understood the various relationships in my life, valuing true friends and seeing people for what they are. The true colours of friends and foes have shown brightly like a rainbow on a cloudy day.

My perspective of life has changed from that moment one year ago, to this moment today. These very eyes see the same things, the same people, the same places – but the eyes in which I look at them with see things now in a different way. I no longer see life with my rose tinted glasses. However that does not mean I see it as all doom and gloom! But if I’ve learnt anything in this last one year it is to be hopeful, but be realistic. And if anything IS to go horribly wrong – don’t feel bad in shedding a tear, in feeling sad or angry or even disappointed. Its what makes you HUMAN. However, have hope in Allah’s (God’s) plan, thank Him for whatever bad that didn’t come your way and ask Him for whatever good which is due. Have faith in Him that it is Qadr Allah (Will of God) and that one day yours prayers will be answered in some shape or form.

It’s been one year since my life has changed. At times its as if nothing has changed and I’m at square one – my arms still barren, the cot in the attic still empty. And yet – so much has changed, my heart is full of love, and my life is so much more enriched. All because I have known you my dear son.

I thank you my beautiful Zakariah for coming into my life and changing it, for changing me.

Till we meet again. XxX

#InLovingMemoryofZakariah
#oneyeartoday #mummymoment

Its been 3 months now since my beautiful baby boy Zakariah passed away. Three whole months that have sometimes felt like an eternity and sometimes gone in the blink of an eye. I wake up in the morning, the first thought on my  mind is – Zakariah. And then it hits me and I remember what has happened. Its almost as if someone is suffocating me and then suddenly provides me with an oxygen mask and allows me to breathe. The day then begins and life continues onwards – with little gemstones of reminders scattered here and there throughout the day.

Why do I feel the urge to write again? It is the tragic events being potrayed in the news and social media in the past few days that is spurring me on. We all know it, seen it and read about it – that heartbreaking image of our little boy Aylan Kurdi – from Syria. He drowned on the shores of Turkey, escaping Hell on Earth to get to a safe haven. I refer to Aylan as OUR boy – because he very well could be. A sweet innocent child, who did no harm to no one. A precious boy who should be kicking a ball and playing peek-a-boo. The apple of his parents eyes, as our children are of our eyes. He could be your son or mine. He died due to the tyranny and oppression of an evil world.

Seeing the image of Aylan brought up the memory of the loss of my son. The pain of loosing a child is unbearable and no parent should go through it. But the pain that Aylan’s father and the hundreds and thousands of Syrian parents who are in the same derelict situation must be – unspeakable. They embark with their children on a perilous journey across the seas hoping to give them a safer future. And when that child dies – the feeling of guilt and anger must be immense.

I wake up each day almost as if someone is suffocating me and then suddenly provides me with an oxygen mask and allows me to breathe. This oxygen mask is hope and faith in Allah and the future. I take deep breathes in with this mask and try to move on forward. Yet the people of Syria and Aylan’s father do not have this mask. They can’t turn back and they can’t move foward. They have lost their homes, their livelihoods, their family and children. The can’t begin to have faith or hope…instead they have fear – fear of unknown present and an unimaginable future.

I pray Allah swt eases the suffering of all the refugees in the world who are escaping true anguish and despair and running towards the warmth of safety. May Allah allow us to provide them this warmth and give them their oxygen mask once again. Ameen

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), that the Prophet (peace be upon him) said:

 “Whoever removes a worldly grief from a believer, Allah will remove from him one of the griefs of the Day of Resurrection. And whoever alleviates the need of a needy person, Allah will alleviate his needs in this world and the Hereafter. Whoever shields [or hides the misdeeds of] a Muslim, Allah will shield him in this world and the Hereafter. And Allah will aid His slave so long as he aids his brother. And whoever follows a path to seek knowledge therein, Allah will make easy for him a path to Paradise. No people gather together in one of the Houses of Allah, reciting the Book of Allah and studying it among themselves, except that sakeenah (tranquility) descends upon them, and mercy envelops them, and the angels surround them, and Allah mentions them amongst those who are with Him. And whoever is slowed down by his actions, will not be hastened forward by his lineage”.[Muslim]

#InMemoryOfAylan
#syrianrefugees #aylan #refugeecrisis #childloss #MeditaranianRefugeeCrisis

Ramadan Reminder Day 29: #Alhamdulillah for being a Mother. You may be wondering why am I saying this. You maybe thinking have I lost the plot. How can I be a mother? I don’t have a child. That is where I will stop you. Let me remind you that I did have, I do have and always will have my baby boy – my son Zakariah.

Allah had given me the opportunity and status of being part of the Motherhood club. He gave me almost 9 beautiful months with my little Angel. He allowed me to feel him move and jab me in the ribs! He let me feel my sweet baby boy squirm around inside me like a rollercoaster. He gave me the gift of feeling tiny yet strong kicks of my little footballer. He gave me the joys of pregnancy – the aches, pains and cravings. He let me have someone to talk to in the middle of the night, and listen to me babble away. He enabled me to feel the nurturing emotions of a mother, the overwhelming breathlessness of love and the tidal wave of protectiveness. But most of all Allah has bestowed upon me a prized possession – a million memories that is stored away tightly in my heart.

Alhamdulillah for being a Mother. The journey through pregnancy, the pain and joy of labour. Through this both -Allah has raised me as a person to the highest and esteemed status of Mother and Inshallah allowed me to gain rewards as such and expiated my sins through this.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said,
“No fatigue, nor disease, nor sorrow, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Alhamdulillah for being a Mother. I may not have my baby in my arms right now – but I take comfort knowing that he is now in Jannah (Paradise) and if Allah permits we will meet again there.

Our beloved Prophet said, ‘Who do you reckon to be the childless among you?’ They said, ‘They are those who do not have any children. ‘No,’ he said, ‘The childless are those who have not sent any of their children ahead’ (i.e. none of their children have died). (Al-Buhkari)

Alhamdulillah! Alhamdulillah for the past 9 months of my life – the joys AND the sorrows. Inshallah I pray that My Lord provides me the honour once again to reach the status of motherhood. That He blesses all of us with pious, beautiful, healthy children soon. May He make our children a source of Jannah for us and make our hearts swell with pride when look at them. For all you mothers who have sent their little Angels to heaven – be strong and know that Allah will bless you both in this world and the next. For surely the ones who are patient will be rewarded.
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

“When a person’s child dies, Allah the Most High asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’  They reply in the affirmative. He then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ They reply in the affirmative. Thereupon he asks, ‘What has My slave said?’ They say: ‘He has praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall be returned).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for My slave in Jannah and name it Bait-ul-Hamd (the House of Praise)’.”

Alhamdulillah for being a mother to my little Turkish Delight – my Zakariah.

You can support our Maternity and Child Centre project that we have set up in our beloved son’s name here: Zakariah Maternity & Child Centre

#Alhamdulillah #Motherhood #ParadiseLiesAtTheFeetOfTheMother
#Hope #Patience #Reward
#InLovingMemoryofZakariah #MyTurkishDelight

Salaams and Hello all!

Apologies for not updating with the Reminders for past few days. I will try my best to update with Ramadan Reminder days 19 to 22 soon (Inshallah!)

For now, please read Ramadan Reminder Day 23.

Thank you for your patience.

Peace

Azzah

Ramadan Reminder Day 23: #Alhamdulillah for Another Tomorow. We all go to sleep in our comfortable beds, close our eyes, confident we will wake up the next day and continue life. But what guarantee is there we will see another Tomorrow? We have no knowledge of the unseen nor of the future – and only Allah swt has this All-Seeing knowledge. So when we do wake up the next morning, it may be a good idea to say Alhamdulillah. That should be the first thing that escapes our lips when our eyes open to a new day, a new sunrise, a new moment of hopes and dreams.

The past one month for me has gone in a blur. A lot has happened, and my life has changed in a blink of an eye. Death has been more prominent on my mind due to what has happened, and since then I have heard of various stories of people passing away. I was just like the person decribed above – convinced as I closed my eyes each night of a new tomorow, and of many more tomorows. Yes – make Dua to Allah to give you a long and healthy life, have faith Allah will answer this Dua – but don’t be arrogant in your thoughts that you may not taste death now.

Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Fire and admitted to Paradise, he indeed is successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing). ( Aal-e-Imran, Chapter #3, Verse #185)

Us younger generation believe that as we are “young” we have a whole life in front of us to do all the things we want to do, and amend all the things that need to be amended. We have enough time to change our bad habits, to ask forgiveness for our sins and to start practicing our religion more. Some of us believe that tomorrow we will aim to pray all 5 prayers on time – wake up for Fajr for once instead of delaying or missing it. The question is – WILL you wake up for Fajr? What if today was your last day?  Wake up for Fajr with the intention that it may be your last one.Then there are some of us sisters who think we will start wearing Hijaab (Head cover) “when we come back from Umrah or Hajj”. But what guarantee is there that you will go for these pilgrimages?  There is no guarantee! Sisters – instead take the plunge today. Look at the mirror and think to yourself, “today may be the only day I get to wear this Hijaab”. Put that beautiful piece of cloth on your head, and do it for the love of Allah. Do it for the fear that tomorrow you may not be here.

This week a very sincere and noble brother of our Muslim community passed away. Brother Basheer Osman, the Vice President of FOSIS. I never personally met the brother myself, but I have heard of him and know of his great work. He was a young man who died in a tragic drowning incident, whilst on holiday with friends. When we look at his posts and tweets leading up to the day he died, they were full of hopes and dreams of tomorrow. This is a reminder for us that we keep planning, in the false comfort of seeing tomorrow, but Allah is the best of all planners. Surely it is He who gives life’s and takes it away. Brother Basheer however left this Dunya with a great legacy. He has touched thousands of hearts and minds and helped many people along his life journey. However short his life was, his legacy will live on in the good deeds he has done. Let us learn from him and live each day as if it is our last. Let us do good for ourselves and for others and leave a legacy too.

My dear friends, don’t procrastinate till tomorrow. From the smallest acts of Ibadah (worship) to the largest of good deeds  – start carrying them out now. Leave a legacy in this Dunya, that will benefit you in the Akhira, the  next world, too.

Death can touch any one of us – Young or Old – Rich or Poor. May Allah swt bless us with a long and healthy life, but make us of those that has لآ اِلَهَ اِلّا اللّهُ مُحَمَّدٌ رَسُوُل اللّهِ (There is no God but Allah Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah) on our lips when the time does come.

“Wheresoever you may be, death will overtake you even if you are in fortresses built up strong and high!” And if some good reaches them, they say, “This is from Allah,” but if some evil befalls them, they say, “This is from you (O Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم).” Say: “All things are from Allah,” so what is wrong with these people that they fail to understand any word? ( An-Nisa, Chapter #4, Verse #78)

https://www.facebook.com/tributestobashir

#Alhamdulillah #AnotherTomorow #DontProcrastinate #RamadanReminder #InLovingMemoryOfBasheerOsman